The pain! The pain!

I've been back at work for nearly a month and it is hard! I work as a Customs Officer so there is a lot of walking - airports are big places.

When I started back after 3 months off, I did 4 hours a day with a day off in between. Then I went to four hours one day and six hours the next. I'm now doing six hours a day for a shift of 6 days with 3 days off to recover. Next week I'm back to full hours. 

It's 17 weeks since my op and I was hoping to be feeling a lot better by now. When I was at home on sick leave I was doing brilliantly but now I'm back at work I'm going backwards! I limp really badly. I've read that I shouldn't (a similar problem to me) but I can't walk any other way. I wear big steel capped boots for work which should support my ankle but maybe they are too heavy and are putting stress on it. The problem is I cannot work if I'm not wearing them. I usually have pain sitting around 3-4 and always feel like my ankle needs clicking back into place. I can't get the pain down below this even with tramadol or naproxen (or both when I'm really desperate). I also can't take tramadol when I'm working.

Today I was doing stuff around the house and suddenly my ankle went up to 8 on the pain scale. I'm back to thinking an amputation sounds good 😆. It isn't swollen; it just felt like someone was trying to cut through it with a blunt pair of scissors. I had to sit down immediately. My husband got me my crutch, which I hadn't used since my cast was taken off. I hobbled upstairs and put it up. He suggested that I use both crutches and be non-weight bearing but when the foot is suspended it feels like it's just hanging by a thread of skin.

I've read a lot of accounts from people who have had the surgery in other countries and they seem to have a much longer time in casts and non-weightbearing. Everyone seems to have been in a cast, whereas I had the option of just being in a moonboot. I'm really nervous that I am doing damage or interfering with the healing because of my surgeon's quick return to weight bearing. It wasn't reassuring looking at the X-ray and being told it looks good but you can't really tell if it's fusing until the 6 month mark.

My work limits the aids I can use. I wasn't allowed back in a moonboot and I can't use crutches. Fortunately I'm able to do duties that involve sitting, avoiding the standing tasks. I'm feeling like I've lost myself really and wondering if it was a mistake to have the surgery. Ironically I am in so much more pain than I was presurgery and I am causing problems in other parts of my body because of the way the ankle forces me to move. My lower back often seizes up, my opposite hip that had had a steroid injection to reduce a bursitis is back to the same level of pain and difficulty lifting it and the cyst on the back of my opposite knee hasn't improved pain wise despite a steroid injection in it.

I tried contacting my surgeon to check up on whether I'm progressing normally but she was in theatre. Her receptionist said that she would pass on my message via an email that I sent but she doesn't appear to be the best with technology. I haven't heard anything and it's been a week so I'm going to have to chase it up, which I hate doing. The pain makes me irritable and I get more intolerant of people. I'm turning misanthropic and totally relate to Sartre's quote "Hell is other people."

So life is not being a bowl of cherries but I'll just keep hobbling along.

Time keeps on ticking...

After clomping around a week I had my bandage removed to check what was happening.

The wound looked really good. There was no sticking to the dressing like when I had my calcaneal osteotomy so that was a relief. The external stitches were removed and the rest are dissolving stitches.

The nurse told me that my surgeon would come and look at it and then I could put my moonboot back on. Horrors! I did not want that heavy, hot unwieldy thing on if I didn’t have to. It looked ridiculous wearing a moonboot and a walking crutch. I said I’d been expecting a cast. The nurse said to tell that to the surgeon....and I did. Got my cast! The nurse then told me only the patients who can be trusted to follow instructions get offered the moonboot option. I took that on board - I’m a trusted patient 💖 and then I got my cast put on! Not as bright as I’d have liked. She was out of all Fluoro colours sadly.

When she checked my foot the surgeon moved the ankle nicely up and down. That was reassuring. While the cast was being put on I had to keep my foot at right angles to my leg and push my toes flat. My toes don’t do flat they do a weird curling so it was a real mission getting the foot just right.

I had to use crutches to leave because the knee crutch might dent the cast. This was not fun, I couldn’t seem to get the motion right. I was glad to get to the car. It was nothing like when I’d previously had crutches. I struggled around at home and then decided I’d google how crutches should be adjusted. It turns out the crutches that the nurse thought were a perfect height for me were way too high. No wonder I was literally leaping around. I adjusted them correctly in anticipation of my next journey.

Unfortunately even with the correction of the height I still struggled with the crutches. I tucked them in the corner of the room for emergencies and went back to solely using my knee crutch.

I have only summited our driveway three times since my surgery. The first time I used my crutches and my knee crutch and resembled some sort of mantis like creature. The second time I weaved

 backwards and forwards and it took forever. Then it came to me - use your walking stick! I set out on a trip to the train station to check I could get there for work and then to have a nice lunch and maybe some shopping. There are two very steep walkways to the station but with my walking stick I made it relatively easily. Success! I had lunch and walked home. Halfway there I suddenly remembered to hold the grip on my knee crutch when going up and down hills and it will be no problem. And so it was! After lunch and shopping I was able to put my walking stick in my bag and trundle home. I was thrilled by the fact that I beat an old lady to get up the hill.

It’s the small things that make your day! Now I just need a tripping hazard sticker and maybe a safety flag for my foot!

The deed is done

Yesterday was surgery day. I went in at 11:15 to find out I wasn’t on the day list because someone ballsed up and put me down for the day before! It was all sorted out in the end  and I made it to the admissions ward. It was a bit of a rush there because I’d been so long in reception but everything got completed.

I walked to theatre admissions next. The surgeon came and marked my leg and discussed the surgery including where she’d take a bit of bone to graft if necessary. It was the top of my tibia and the first place I looked after surgery was there. No dressing so no graft, yay.

Then the anaesthetist came and discussed my anaesthesia. He decided since I had MS a general was the best option. Funny how it differs from doctor to doctor! I told him I needed to avoid overheating so he promised they wouldn’t put the heat blanket on on top heat.

Once they were sorted I was walked into the theatre. It was freezing! The operation table was so narrow but they had arm rests so it wasn’t too bad. The anaesthetist said he was going to put a cannula in my hand and I thought “you’re welcome to try.” He obviously looked at the veins and decided that my one drain pipe vein in my left elbow was a far better idea. The last thing I remember was him saying he was giving me a relaxant and looking around at the theatre noting I did feel relaxed.

I woke up in the recovery room in full MS blow out. My legs were spasming like crazy and my teeth were chattering. I had the usual fight about it being a normal side effect of a GA and the nurse wanting to warm me up and me saying if she did I’d get worse. We worked out a compromise. 

I had local in the site in theatre but when it wore off it was very painful. They kept topping up my morphine but it was still sitting at a five (someone has hit me very hard with a hammer). The anaesthetist was called and he ordered oxycodone. I was warned it would make me drowsy and it did but it hit the pain beautifully. I don’t remember anything more in re overly,I just magically appeared in my room.

I had a pump on my left leg to help prevent blood clots. Every three minutes it would feel like someone had grabbed my ankle. I also had my moon boot on! I thought they were a bit confused taking it to theatre with me but no, they were right. When I had the calcaneal osteotomy I had a soft cast but this time it’s just bandaged so the moon boot forms the support.

Pump on the left and moonboot on the right.

It’s really weird trying to sleep with a moonboot on. I was a bit drowsy but watched some tv and waited for dinner since I hadn’t eaten since 6:45pm the previous day. They have fabulous food at Mercy but not after a GA. After a GA you get a light meal. It wasn’t bad at all and if I hadn’t seen the full menu today I’d have never been the wiser. Dinner was good but breakfast was cold toast and porridge with stewed apple and apple juice. Since I’m allergic to eggs I couldn’t have the hot breakfast which was scrambled or poached eggs. On the full menu the cooked breakfast included delicious offerings such as French toast with bacon, banana and maple syrup as well as the cold toast and cereal. I had the chicken salad for my main meal with pumpkin soup and the entree and creme brûlée for dessert.

Delicious salad but not the best for someone with an egg allergy!

I struggled a bit with pain during the night but tramadol and paracetamol seemed to ease it. I was really tired but the foot pump kept waking me up when I drifted off. I had a book and I found reading a paragraph or so sent me off to sleep. That worked until 4:15am. From then on I was wide awake and unable to even snooze.Fortunately the night nurses were characters and entertained me. They also gave me another oxycodone when I said it felt like someone hit my foot with a hammer. One of them joked that it was a baseball bat. We decided the other night nurse had done it and hidden the weapon. 🤪

I was being closely monitored and once they got over the fact that 100/50 is a normal if even slightly high blood pressure reading for me they settled down. The real concern was my oxygen saturation’s. I was sitting at 93% so I spent a fair bit of time with first the mask and then the nasal prongs delivering delicious oxygen.

I was released just under 24 hours after I arrived. I had the surgeon and anaesthetist visit but didn’t see a physio so I’m struggling to go upstairs if I’m using crutches. The I-walk is no problem but it’s a bit difficult to put on in a hurry. I remember good leg goes to heaven but I’m not sure how everything else fits in. When I went down to do something in the kitchen then I ended up crawling back up the stairs. Not the best when our house is accessed 

So that’s about it for now. Once I get a clear head and stop sleep typing I’ll do another entry.